Rosebuds of Meditation come out of a place of seeking transformation amid trying times.  I wrote them to find my own focus and encourage others as well.

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The Finish Line: by Joey

 

As I was going about the daily tasks of my day, a thought came to me, that some might call a light bulb moment. There "is" a tree of life and the tree of death and "there is a choice" of which one I eat from. Being lambasted with a culture of too many opinions; I have found these two trees, have now become the tree of knowledge and the tree of experience. One being; listening to everything and anything that comes down the pike. And the other going within (with quietness and confidence) to change the triggers that keep one stuck.

 

Before you say no not me, think about it. We listen to the news, we listen to elders, husbands, wives, family members, bosses, co-workers, and clients...it's a wonder we have any sense of peace left at the end of the day.

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Moving further in this realm of thought I began to contemplate, "the finish line." A finished work, something that is more than enough, verses whatever says "nothing is going to change." If I were really honest, I have to say this is not where I have set up camp in the last several months. Allowing many things to disrupt my journey I have become exhausted and angry. While at the same time determined to put a stop to this slippery slide down hill...of constant disappointment.

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In looking up the word "anger" it means: 'allowing oneself to be taken in by disappointment from unfulfilled or unresolved expectations.' Maybe this is easier said then done but for me it is clear that, the things that come to torment and tear me away from things that are healthy and productive life changes... I simply get to choose life and move on, otherwise where is "the rest" when one is constantly questioning, and wondering why? 

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Pausing for a moment, I was thinking about disappointment and that lead me to the word  debate; which is to consider a possible course of action in one's mind before reaching a decision. For me, I have allowed my mind to question or debate more then reflect on what is productive.

I could say it is the obstacle that has been in my roadway and admit...I simply need to make a decision, a choice.

 

Choices...the word is defined as: "an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities." Funny, I think many of the times I have anger issues its because I think I do not have a choice in something.

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In closing, I am aware of situations I would like a better resolve in, yet every time I try to change or force the outcome, I fail to keep my footing in a place of rest. Recently, I sheepishly started my own web site. I say sheepishly because so many of my library of writings are attached to memories that have sought to dull the joy. Seeing I am a vessel that is flawed and yet empowered by life with light to share...I can accept it as what it took to bring me to this place of revealed treasure. 

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Rereading this years later, I see I now have refined the writings I was so shy to share. I have had inspiration by the spirit to write new. And I am encouraged to realize I am staying the course despite the wild waves of life that ultimately turn to peace.​